American Values

What exactly are American Values? With a presidential election seemingly only decades away, this term is being thrown around a lot. Voters want their politicians to have American Values, as opposed to having American Liabilities or Australian Values (they spin the other direction when you flush them down the toilet). Of course, defining something as intangible as American Values can be difficult. So, here’s a simple reference guide of things that are and are not American Values. When you know the difference, you can make the right decision in the voting booth.

Voting?

Voter Turnout by Country

Voting is NOT an American Value

Blockbusters?

Blockbusters

Blockbusters are an American Value

Debt?

Debt Clock

Debt is an American Value

Proofreading?

Ironic Issue

Proofreading is NOT an American Value

Bacon?

Fried Bacon

Bacon is an American Value

Genital Mutilation?

US Circumcision Rate

Genital Mutilation is an American Value

White Supremacy?

Household Income by Race

White Supremacy is NOT an American Value

Defeating Nazis?

Beating a Nazi

Defeating Nazis is an American Value

Individuality?

Suburbs

Individuality is NOT an American Value

Pootie Tang?

Pootie Tang is an American Value

Velcro?

Velcro Close-up

Velcro is an American Value

Chinese Products

Percentage of Overall US Imports by Country in 2008 Graph

Chinese Products are an American Value

Football?

Brett Favre

Football is an American Value

Philandering?

The Look

Philandering is NOT an American Value

Phallic Symbols?

Washington Monument

Phallic Symbols are an American Value

Southern Cooking?

Paula Deen

Southern Cooking is an American Value

High-Fructose Corn Syrup?

Ingredients

High-Fructose Corn Syrup is an American Value

Obesity?

Obesity

Obesity is an American Value

Swimsuit Competitions?

Miss America Contestants in Swimsuits

Swimsuit Competitions are an American Value

Physics?

Nobel Prize Winners in Physics by Country

Physics is an American Value

Creationism?

Creationism Poll

Creationism is an American Value

Going to Church?

Church Attendance in the US

Going to Church is NOT an American Value



Sources: Blockbusters, Voting, Circumcision, Chinese Products, Physics, Creationism, Going to Church

  • You’d think that, with such a high percentage of people believing a beared man cosmically birthed us in our present form, more people would go to church.

    Also, and as a Canadian I’m terribly sensitive to this, but no one ever notices that the number of Chinese imported products only slightly exceeds tha mount of Canadian imports. You only ever take note of our musicians, celebs and sports stars. 

    FYI: Sorry about Celine Dion.