August 20, 2011
Font expert, shark whisperer, hot sauce aficionado, animal impressionist, sandwich king of Cincinnati and more. Is there anything Steve Zampanides can’t do? Well, apparently he can’t appear on Conan. Despite having been booked nine times on the show, the mysterious renaissance man has yet to appear on television. At first, I blamed Steve Carell. However, it soon became apparent that there was more than a lack of time due to surprise guests preventing Mr. Zampanides from appearing. The show’s star Conan O’Brien himself seems to.... Read more »
August 11, 2011
Paranoia has never been a strength of mine, but that’s all about to change. Some wonderful people sent me one of their super amazing security cameras to review here on my blog. Of course, nothing is truly super amazing until I’ve certified it as such. So, without further ado, my review: The product came in a box inside a box four times its size and packed with pink packing peanuts. So far, exceeding expectations, it brought me the double joy of pink “ghost turds” (hours.... Read more »
July 19, 2011
And that message is a happy fuck you. “Weren’t you the one who said that I would be nothing? Well, I’m about to prove you wrong.” And she already did that. The amount of fame she got, whether it lasts or not, makes about 99% of the world’s population insignificant by comparison. How many people know your name? Exactly. But she’s not rubbing that point in your face, though she’d be entitled to. Her new song focuses on a celebration of herself. Regardless of how.... Read more »
July 18, 2011
What exactly are American Values? With a presidential election seemingly only decades away, this term is being thrown around a lot. Voters want their politicians to have American Values, as opposed to having American Liabilities or Australian Values (they spin the other direction when you flush them down the toilet). Of course, defining something as intangible as American Values can be difficult. So, here’s a simple reference guide of things that are and are not American Values. When you know the difference, you can make.... Read more »
July 17, 2011
Sometimes I wonder why I’m even a Republican. Fortunately, the Democrats continually remind me. However, it just seems like it’s getting more and more difficult to be an admitted member of the GOP. It feels more like the OP at times. A plethora of candidates already grace the national stage, and most are downright appalling. Whatever their merits, they have at least one huge shortcoming that would cause voting for them to weigh heavily on my patriotic soul. Michele Bachmann is stupid You know how.... Read more »
July 4, 2011
It’s finally Independence Day. It’s one of the most important holidays to me, and yet has long been one of the most depressing. I’m forced to remember our nation’s history, and the realization that we hold almost no ideals originally found in the Declaration of Independence is more saddening each year. Rather than talk about how there is a problem challenging our Independence, I decided instead to talk about seven specific threats to it. From Wikipedia: “Independence is a condition of a nation, country, or.... Read more »
May 29, 2011
I don’t usually do this, but it’s my blog, so I can make up the rules as I go. Here’s a video from the YouTube: This is apparently from a group called The Whitest Kids U’Know. The video is brilliant. After watching it, it made me upset that the Pledge is still a mandatory thing in most public schools. This isn’t about the “Under God” thing. While that certainly has no part in the American Pledge of Allegiance or mandated in any public schools, my.... Read more »
May 21, 2011
Well, it’s 6 o’clock somewhere, and people are still all over this place. So, it’s safe to say that The Rapture didn’t happen. That’s the biggest problem with prophecies, I find. They never come true. It can be frustrating, especially when it’s such an awesome prophecy! It’s like an orphan asking Santa for a Dino-Riders T-Rex and Krulos set. I think unhappiness is unfulfilled desire. And this lack of prophetic fulfillment has made me somewhat unhappy. Despite being a firm non-believer, I gave in to.... Read more »