Having a website means all kinds of legal whatnots and so forths. So, I’ve set out to make my blog all official-like by laying out The Rules. This page should thoroughly explain everything you need to know about your responsibilities as a user and what, if anything, you can expect from me as a provider of digital content. Spoiler: Expect nothing!
This is Copyrighted!
The stuff on the site that actually is mine is copyrighted. I’m probably infringing on several copyrights myself. The silly thing about copyright law is that nobody has any respect for it. So, I’m sure you have no problems stealing my content, you little thief! But if you do, please link back to me or attribute it in some way. Still, it’s probably best just to not steal.
However, if you want to take excerpts, feel free to! Again, I just ask that you attribute it and link back to the full post. This helps your readers too, who might read my excerpt out of its intended context and be understandably confused.
My blog isn’t intended for you. So, don’t read it. Or….do read it, but just realize that I’m not writing for you, per se. I am writing for your attention, but I want that attention solely for my own selfish reasons. Therefore, the content is not directed at anyone in particular or presented as being valid for any particular geographic location. It’s only for me to put my random thoughts, whatever they may be, out into the world in the hopes of receiving some form of superficial attention.
Libel & Defamation
If I insult you, there’s probably a good reason. Perhaps you’re an idiot. Perhaps you’re ugly. Perhaps you wasted a load of money on a new NBC TV series anyone could have told you would be a flop. Or, in the case of Paul Reiser, it could be all of the aforementioned. However, since you’re reading my website, and so are your lawyers as they gather evidence, then you must adhere to these terms of not taking anything posted here as libel or defamation! So, ha!
Also, though I’m no legal expert, I believe that defamation requires a statement to be knowingly false and published to a third-party. As this blog is not a third-party (and nothing I say is false), I should be okay. The statements made are my opinions, not meant to be accepted as facts, though they most likely are factual. Furthermore, it is never my intent to do harm to anyone or anything with what I post online. You’re not ugly because I say you’re ugly. If it were up to me, you wouldn’t look like that.
Sarcasm, Irony and General Tomfoolery
Don’t take anything you read on this blog seriously. I never lie, except when I do. This whole blog is for entertainment purposes, though lots of it is in fact truthful. Sometimes the honesty is too subtle, or figurative, or outdated, or something else entirely. And sometimes the honesty is quite overt, and yet may not truly be honesty. Even this might be flat out lying to you. So, don’t trust me. Don’t take anything I say seriously. Don’t use my opinions or “advice” to influence your medical or legal decisions, or any other decisions. I am really smart and right about pretty much everything, but that doesn’t mean that I’m leading you in the right direction with what I say. So, any action you take based off of something I’ve posted on my website is completely your responsibility. Even if you attack Paul Reiser, while it may very well please me, that’s on you.
AOL Instant Messenger. Why the Hell are you still using it? Don’t.
Smoking is a dirty habit, literally. I’m completely against it. But it’s your choice. However, when smoking, be sure to follow these rules:
- Don’t smoke.
Read at your own risk. The content I am posting is not rated by anyone and could be offensive. It’s not my problem if you’re offended, or if your kids are offended. You’re the one using the computer. Close the tab if you don’t want to see something or avoid it to begin with.
If you are offended, feel free to rant and rave in the comments. I won’t be offended.
Here at Clayburn’s Blog we have the utmost respect for people who are handicapable. However, I am lazy and therefore unlikely to provide accessibility options to you. Understand that this is not an attempt to discriminate against users with any particular impairments. If you really, really, really want to access my blog and are unable to do so, please contact me. I will try to help you out, but no guarantees.
Move, Bitch! Get Out the Way!
I live in New York City, and perhaps this doesn’t quite resonate outside of the modern world. However, I think it’s important for Yankees and Hillbillies alike. It’s not just common courtesy; it’s a necessity for a mobile society to function effectively, especially at our insane populations.
If you’re visiting my website, then you agree to make an honest effort to stay out of people’s way when they’re on the go. And this isn’t just for those of you reading on a mobile device while walking around the Empire State Building. This is for everyone who comes across my website and lasts indefinitely.
- No stopping to tie your shoe suddenly on the sidewalk. Move to the side, out of the flow of foot traffic.
- Don’t cut in front of me if you’re slow. There’s no sense in rushing ahead of me at the subway entrance if you’re just going to take your time cautiously walking down the steps.
- No standing. If you’re in the traffic flow, keep moving. If you have to stop to talk to someone, pull over.
- Don’t take up more space than you’re entitled to. Unfortunately, some people are rather obese, and they’re probably not all that quick. Still, this is no reason to also be carrying five large Lord & Taylor shopping bags around you too. (Like anything is even in your size!) No holding hands with more than one child. No giving your pet’s leash superfluous slack. If your backpack extends three feet, don’t carry it over your shoulder, turning you into a walking Tetris piece for me to maneuver around.
- Do not stand in the middle of the subway car doors trying to get into it while others are exiting. Step to the side and wait your turn.
This website is “supported” by advertising through the Google Adsense network. I am not responsible for the content of advertisements appearing on this website or their claims. Also, be aware that Google probably tracks your visit through their ad network and ties it into whatever else they know about you. There’s really nothing you can do about it. But just remember that it’s not me doing it, it’s Google. And I’ve made you aware of that. While I don’t know the specifics of their terms and privacy policies, I’m sure you could find out…..by Googling it. Bwa ha ha ha!
If I have been given a product to review, I think that the US Government requires that I disclose that fact. So, I probably will disclose it. Still, you shouldn’t be acting on my advice anyway. I probably just wanted something free.
Comments you leave on my blog will be displayed on my blog. Seems pretty obvious. Any other information I have about you, I probably won’t use in any kind of way. However, for legal reasons, I like to have as much freedom as possible. So, to greater cover my ass, anything you post on my website or any personal information you give me or I obtain through your actions on my website is mine to do with as I please without your discretion.
For those of you who are interested, I do use Google Analytics to track my website traffic.
I’m probably no greater threat to your privacy than Facebook or Google, but no promises.
All visitors are required to follow me on Twitter: